


Just Forkin' Around

by shoemaster



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Time, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoemaster/pseuds/shoemaster
Summary: "I cannot spend the rest of eternity not getting laid," Eleanor announced.(AU after 1x05 Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis. No Real Eleanor etc)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelsaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsaves/gifts).



> Happy yuletide, angelsaves! I hope you enjoy this!

"I cannot spend the rest of eternity not getting laid," Eleanor announced.

"Oookay," Chidi looked up from his syllabi for Eleanor's ethics lessons. He was beginning to realize they made remarkable chapter abstracts for his new thesis. It might not be exactly ethical to use her as an unwitting case study, but it wasn't like the whole thing was going to be about her.

And if it was, she'd probably just be flattered, in her own, Eleanor way.

"I just saw Antoine and Gunner getting frisky by the recycling bins behind the new yogurt shop."

“That's not something I needed you to share with me.” He reached for his glasses, like taking those off would make the image less clear in his mind.

“I'm the one who had to see it, buddy.” Eleanor flopped onto the couch next to him. “I can't believe I've been here for three months and the only people that have hit on me are those two that wanted to swing while we were under house arrest."

"They didn't want to -"

"Oh, they absolutely wanted to. I told you we should have just done it."

"Well, you and I have different approaches when it comes to the choice of sexual partners." He began stacking his papers as it became increasingly obvious he wasn’t getting back to work anytime soon.

Eleanor dropped a hand onto his arm. "Oh god, you're a virgin, aren't you?" 

"What? Eleanor, no. Just because I don't want to have sex with you because you're bored doesn't mean -"

"It's not because I'm bored, it's because I haven't gotten laid in months! Which, if you didn't have sex for your whole LIFE might not seem like very long but -"

"Eleanor."

"It'll be fun, come on."

Chidi would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it before - the first day they met, after Michael had explained the concept of _soulmate_ and introduced him to a beautiful woman; when she suggested making out during the sinkhole disaster; in the mornings when she was still half asleep and somehow gentler than any other time of day, even when she snarled at him for coffee. 

But he wasn’t about to tell her that. "That's how you convince a child to go to the park, not how you get someone to have sex with you." 

Less than ten minutes ago he’d been engaging with the works of Philippa Foot, and now Eleanor was trying to seduce him into sex. (Although most of his previous experiences with seduction didn’t involve half expecting to hear “I triple dog dare you” come from his prospective partner’s mouth.) Despite having been present for the whole conversation, he still wasn’t sure how they’d gotten here.

"Are you feeling shy? Because dude, you have a banging bod. Almost as banging as Tahani's, even without the curves and cascading hair, and legs up to my eyeballs."

He sighed. "Why don't you go 'bang' Tahani then?"

"Do you really want to find out what happens if I sleep with someone else's soul mate? Do you really?"

Chidi pictured Jason's sad, confused face and sighed. Eleanor pumped her fist. 

"I can make it special! I spent college collecting the V cards of the dudes of Tempe and I have to say, I got pretty good at it."

"I'm not -"

"Janet!"

"Hello!" Janet popped up between them.

"Hey Janet, can we get some flower petals and candles action happening in the bedroom?"

"Certainly, would you prefer roses, orchids or violets?”

"Definitely ro-"

"Thank you, Janet," Chidi said loudly over Eleanor. “But that won't be necessary.”

“Good bye!” Janet chirped before winking out of existence.

"Are you afraid? We can start slow, I give a pretty decent handy, and I won't judge you even a little if you're not very good. I can work with it."

"Okay, you know what, fine." Chidi shut his books firmly, and stood.

“Really? Yes! Chidi you're the best. I mean, probably not today, but -”

He climbed the ledge up to Eleanor's bedroom, and reached down to offer her a hand up.

“Such a gentleman,” she cooed, before grabbing his ass.

“Hey!” He spun around to face her, but she was already pulling her shirt over her head. “You're not wasting any time, are you?”

Eleanor paused with her bra half undone and a peculiar gleam in her eye. "You hear French when I talk, right? So it's like I'm speaking super sexy sweet nothings."

"Everyone is speaking French to me, I understand French. You can't just recite a grocery list."

"If grocery list was your go to, no wonder you're still a virgin."

Chidi sighed loudly. Eleanor continued as if she hadn’t heard anything.

"I mean, I know I'm not Tahani, and my rack is pretty nice but you'd never look at them and think 'motorboat', like you would with hers. I mean, when she hugs me and my face is just right in there, it's kind of tempting."

"If you say so? I can't say I've ever..."

Eleanor looked at him fondly. "Oh, Chidi. I'm going to make this so good for you, I swear."

They were clearly beyond the point where him protesting or explaining that he had had sex with women before, multiple women on repeat occasions even, would do anything. And while maybe he didn't consider sex as pressing of a need as Eleanor had before all of this, there was now a half naked woman standing in front of him, smiling.

"Could you just...stop talking for a second?"

"Why don't you make me?" Eleanor waggled her eyebrows, and damn if that did anything to flag his growing arousal. It wasn’t as though he had never thought about it, but he never thought it would ever go beyond thinking about it.

He reached out and pulled her towards him until their chests were pressed together, noting the way she shivered a little as her nipples brushed against his sweater, before leaning down to kiss her.

It was better than he expected. She was much more cooperative here, working with him and responding quickly when his tongue pressed against her lips.

"Wow," she said, when they broke apart a few seconds later. "That was a real panty dropper, I can't believe you never -"

Chidi kissed her again.

*

"I guess this really is paradise if that's how good you are the first time out," Eleanor says, cuddling into Chidi's chest.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you it wasn't my first time?"

"We could watch your memories, that'd be pretty irrefutable."

Chidi sighs at the clown hanging by the window, but Sticky Bippy is no help. "Eleanor, I am not letting you use my memories as a private porn stash."

"We could watch mine first."

Chidi frowns, surprised at the number of reasons that is unappealing to him. "No, thank you."

He could feel her shrug. “Well, the offer’s open.”

“Wait. Those aren’t even your memories. Have you been….”

Eleanor leaned up and kissed him again, cutting him off, which meant ‘yes, definitely’.


End file.
